In times like this.

You actually never know the value of what you have until you loose it. Death is one thing that will definitely happen to everyone. When you hear that someone has passed on, you really do not understand the meaning until you loose someone dear to you.

It took a while before I pulled myself together to write this. This has got to be one of the hardest blogs I've had to do.

Yes, today, I will be talking about death and grieving. I recently lost my younger sister and that hit me differently. When I opened our family chat and read those dreaded words "We lost her", wow, my whole life just fell apart. Nothing at that point made sense to me. I fell on the floor, I wept like a baby. I could not console myself. I wished that I was in a dream and would wake up and find out that it was just a bad nightmare, but this was not a nightmare, it was reality. She's gone and never to be seem again, at least not on this realm of life. At times like this, you feel abandoned, you feel alone, you ask yourself several questions, One I asked myself was, "Could I have done anything differently to save her? Could I have been more available to see what she was going through ? Could I have been strong for her to ask her to take a bold step ? All these are questions that I have battled with in my head, but you know what ? none of that matters now because once anyone dies, there's nothing we can do to bring them back, All we are left with are fond memories of them.

Since then, I have sort of realigned my focus in life. At times like this, I need to invest my time wisely on things that matter most to me. I need to cherish and value the times I spend with my loved ones, actually, I need to spend more time with my loved ones. I need to eliminate anything that's not worth my time and only focus more on those things that matter to me. There has been a lot of things that made me cry in life , bad life experience, dealing with abusive people ? disappointments, but nothing have hurt me like the loss of my sister. When you loose someone that special, it leaves a hole in your heart that only time can fill and heal.

If you ever find yourself in any situation that endangers your life, please speak out, seek help and please don't bother about what people will say. The life is yours not theirs. People will always have something to say about you no matter what.

If you are going through the same situation at this point in time, am sending you lots of hugs and love.

Alpha 3, you might not be here with us, but you are always here in our hearts. I love you and will always do. We all love you and miss you.

@queenonis.