Cheating in Marriage(Financial cheating)
Many at times when we hear about cheating in marriage, the first thing that comes to mind is infidelity. Anyway, infidelity is not the only sort of cheating in marriage. There's emotional cheating, financial cheating, infidelity, etc. Today am talking about financial cheating in marriage and it's effects on various homes.
Simply put, financial cheating is when one spouse is not honest about their spending habit. This can lead to debt, lack of trust and even divorce.
When you start hiding your financial status to your spouse, you are definitely cheating on your spouse. When you are not pulling your weight on the needs of your family and you are catering for everyone else, you are cheating on your spouse. When your spouse have a need and you are in a position to provide it and you pretend as if you cant, you are cheating on your spouse.
First, prior to marriage, the couples need to sit down and discuss their financial position. Is one partner already in debt and with lots of credit cards to clear ? What's your spouse credit score ? etc. All these when left out before marriage usually constitute a major challenge for the couple when they start discovering each others financial status.
For most married couples, am not sure why money matters seems like a swear word. They rather sweep it under the carpet than discuss it. Listen, money discussion is something that needs to happen regularly between couples. When couples don't discuss this, issues will start arising, now it becomes a serious challenge, most times it can't be resolved simply because it was not addressed in a timely manner.
Most person cheat financially because they are selfish, have a domineering spouse who do not give them breathing space when it comes to money, lack of trust or due to past experience. Whatever the reason for cheating, it is not healthy for any marriage.
So, how can we avoid financial cheating in marriage ?
Couples need to constantly review their financial status. Are there credit cards that needs to be paid off ? Sort it out. Do we as a couple really need to take out a credit card or do we wait, work towards what we desire and get it when we are in a position to? When couples know there financial status, it helps them to be aware of what and what they can afford and can't afford.
Sort out bills responsibilities. Don't leave the bill for one person to pay ( in case of couples that both work). If you earn more, then ideally that spouse should consider handling the bulk part of the bills.
Decide on what sort of account that works for you - Joint or separate accounts. You can have separate accounts with split bill responsibilities. You can have a joint account where each persons chips in an agreed percentage based on what works for the couples. Discuss it and agree, never work in isolation when it comes to money matters.
Couples should leave within their earning power, don't be greedy or compare yourself with other couples. What works for one couple might not work for you. There's no "one size fits all" in this case.
Couples should invest in assets and not liabilities. Grow your money tree - these are investments that yield you returns either in the short term or long term.
Avoid gambling of all sorts. This is the quickest way of going into heavy debts.
Sort out and agree on how to extend to extended families. This is very essential. always remember that your immediate family takes precedent over extended family.
If you are not savvy with money issues, swallow your ego and hand it over to your spouse if they are better at it.
Invest in yourself and increase your earning power.
Be kind to each other and allow room for a little treat from time to time - shoes, good clothes, cars etc.
Finally if you have a habit of overspending, please confide on your spouse and discuss about it. Communication is the key to avoiding financial cheating.
Talk about it ( T), review it ( R ) and agree on it ( A ) - TRA. Be money smart.
I pray for wisdom for us all when it comes to handling our finance.
( Disclaimer - Am not a financial advisor, but these are practical steps that have worked for me)