Most times I hear people say that they have a perfect marriage, hum. Am very careful with such words. Perfect means something that do not need any improvement and in my humble opinion, every marriage needs constant improvement. Also most times I hear things like " I never argue with my spouse", " we never quarrel". Well, if you don't argue or have issues in your marriage, then one of you is definitely enduring the marriage and not enjoying it.
Marriage constitute of two different people who came together to become one, having said that, it means that there will be conflict of interest occasionally. That means that my spouse might do something I don't approve of and vice versa. It also means that there will be times either myself or my spouse might need to express our views, sometimes in a loud manner, does that make us the worst couple on earth ?, no it does not. It means that although sometimes we might not agree with each other, but we will try and reach a compromise so as to accommodate each other.
So, what are the marriage essentials ? For me, the key marriage essentials are - Effective Communication and Reconciliation.
Although I may quarrel with my spouse, it is important that we communicate effectively in order to resolve the issue. I owe it to my spouse to tell them the truth, express my feelings to them while at the same time trying to understand things from their own perspective. I must not be selfish when it comes to resolving issues.
In resolving issues, both parties must acknowledge the other person's emotions and not ignore it. For instants, women are more emotional than men. In settling issues, try and empathise with your spouses, don't ignore their feelings.
When issues are effectively communicated, reconciliation becomes very easy. When you both are reconciled to each other, peace, love, joy etc returns to your relationship. That's why I have chosen those two as my key marriage essentials as they pave way for other things.
Remember, there could be mistakes and misunderstanding in marriage, but effective communication and room for reconciliation can make a huge difference.